Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

《Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers》是一本由加拿大发展心理学家Gordon Neufeld和研究注意力缺乏以及成瘾症的Gabor Maté合著的亲子教育书籍。这本书在亲子关系领域引起了广泛的关注，其深刻的内容和实用的建议让众多父母受益匪浅‌。

这本书的核心观点在于强调父母在孩子成长过程中的重要性，尤其是与孩子建立牢固的依恋关系。作者指出，尽管父母可能非常爱孩子，也掌握了许多教养技巧，但如果亲子关系不够牢固，教养过程很容易出现问题。书中通过丰富的案例和深入的分析，向父母们展示了如何维护与孩子之间的依恋关系，从而达到更有效的教养目的‌。

阅读这本书，让我深刻感受到了亲子关系对于孩子成长的重要性。书中不仅提供了理论支持，还给出了一些具体的方法和建议，帮助父母们在实践中更好地与孩子沟通和相处。这些方法和建议既实用又易于操作，让父母们在面对孩子时更加从容和自信‌。

此外，这本书还让我对“横向依恋”（horizontal attachment，即与家庭成员之间的依恋）和“纵向依恋”（vertical attachment，即与同龄人之间的依恋）有了更深入的理解。作者特别强调了横向依恋的重要性，并提醒父母们要警惕纵向依恋可能带来的问题。这一观点让我重新审视了自己与孩子的关系，以及孩子在同龄人中的交往情况，从而更加注重与孩子建立和维护健康的依恋关系‌。

总的来说，《Hold On to Your Kids》是一本非常值得一读的亲子教育书籍。它不仅提供了深刻的理论见解，还给出了实用的方法和建议，帮助父母们更好地理解和应对孩子成长过程中的各种问题。这本书不仅让我对亲子关系有了更深入的认识，也让我在育儿过程中更加自信和从容。我相信，这本书将会成为众多父母们育儿路上的得力助手‌。

书名：Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

作者：Gordon Neufeld, Gabor Maté

简介：This parenting classic is as relevant today as it was when it was first published, shining a light on one of the most misunderstood trends of our how the influence of peers, magnified by social media and video game culture, is replacing parents in the lives of children, and what parents can do about it.

WINNER OF THE NATIONAL PARENTING PUBLICATIONS GOLD AWARD • “A worthy book that brings us genuinely new ideas and fresh perspectives on parenting.”—Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of Reviving Ophelia

Children take their lead from their Being “cool” matters more than anything else. Shaping values, identity, and codes of behavior, peer groups are often far more influential than parents. But this situation is far from natural, and it can be dangerous—it undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development, and fosters a hostile and sexualized youth culture. Children end up becoming conformist, anxious, and alienated.

In Hold On to Your Kids, acclaimed physician and bestselling author Gabor Maté joins forces with psychologist Gordon Neufeld to pinpoint the causes of this breakdown and offer practical advice on how to “reattach” to your children and earn back their loyalty and love.

By helping to reawaken our instincts, Neufeld and Maté empower parents to be what nature a true source of enrichment, security, and warmth for their children.